Sampson

Photobucket
This post was written as a contribution to the Boys Have Long Hair, Too Blog Carnival.  The participating bloggers are sharing their experiences, struggles, and opinions surrounding having a son who has long hair.


When I found out I was having a baby boy I was torn. I've never been into rough and tumble little boys, much. How would I parent a little boy? How would I raise my little boy? What would my little boy be like and would I like him? I spent a lot of time watching other little boys thinking about what I liked about them. Finally I realized there were a few little boys I really didn't mind. The ones, for example, who would grow up to be like my husband.

Realizing that helped me to realize how to nurture this sweet, sensitive side of a little boy. So when my little boy came along, and he was sweet and wonderful, I nurtured that. I honored his wants and needs instead of teaching him to be tough. I listened to him. I let him make choices so he would feel powerful.


One of those choices happened when he was almost two years old. While I was brushing his sister's hair one day, he told me, "I want a ponytail too." But his hair was short wisps, not long enough to put in a ponytail. So without judgment I told him, "You'll have to grow your hair long enough to put it into a ponytail." We had this exchange almost daily for about another year. Finally his hair was long enough to be put into a ponytail. And he was ecstatic!

As long as he has been able to talk he has told me that he wanted long hair. Because I want him to listen to others, I listen to him. His hair is his choice. His clothing is his choice. His appearance is his choice. And that makes him powerful.

His hair may seem superficial. Many have told me I should just cut it. But his hair is part of a greater lesson.

His hair is teaching him that he is powerful. Because of his hair, he knows he can make choices without fighting; without muscle. Being allowed to make his own choice shows him that people respect him. And not having to fight to be who he wants is teaching him to be sensitive; to care about others.

So when he says he wants to grow his hair long long long, and he wants to grow a beard down to his belt, I listen. After all it is his hair.




We'd love it if you stopped by to read submissions by the other amazing carnival bloggers

My Happy Hippie Boy -- Andie from Crayon Freckles shares why she and her husband have chosen to let their 3.5 yr old son’s hair go uncut. 

Boys Have Long Hair, Too: A Father’s View -- Alex from Glittering Muffins says it happens that not only does his son, Nico have long hair, he as the father has no problem with it either. He personally does not find that long hair emasculates a boy (or adult alike)...

Boys Have Long Hair, Too: A Maman’s View -- Valerie from Glittering Muffins son has been called a cute little girl for about a year and a half (he’s 2.5 yo). So she corrects people and tells them he’s a boy and loves his long hair (Once in a while she even throws in a “he also loves to watch Strawberry Shortcake”). 

Boys Have Long Hair, Too --The Monko from Taming the Goblin explains why she likes it when her son is mistaken for a girl and asks the question "Do mums of girls feel this guilty when their child doesn't like having their long hair brushed?"

Sampson -- Kellie from Our Mindful Life reflects on how long hair gives her son power.

Trials and Tribulations of a Boy with Tresses -- Carolyn from Mama's Little Muse talks about her experience in raising a boy with hair too beautiful to cut short. It is about how people have reacted; how she has created keepsakes featuring his hair; and also how they have arrived at a game that they play so that the hair brushing experience goes more smoothly.

His Hair, His Decision -- Lyndsay from Our Feminist {Play}School asks the question “why shouldn't a boy have long hair?”. Her 'answers' are historical, personal and family-specific.

Boys Have Long Hair, Too -- Sarah from This is Me…Sarah Mum of 3 is mum to 3 children a boy aged 10, girl aged 8 and a boy aged 5, Always loving the longer hair styles for boys her two boys have had many different hair styles over the years but always seem to resort back to the longer locks even against the negative comments they sometimes recieve.

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Our Mindful Life: Sampson

Our Mindful Life

Our Mindful Life is about paying attention to what it is that we do on a day to day basis and how we impact each other and the planet. We will talk about all of the things that we do here at home to make ourselves and the world a better place.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Sampson

Photobucket
This post was written as a contribution to the Boys Have Long Hair, Too Blog Carnival.  The participating bloggers are sharing their experiences, struggles, and opinions surrounding having a son who has long hair.


When I found out I was having a baby boy I was torn. I've never been into rough and tumble little boys, much. How would I parent a little boy? How would I raise my little boy? What would my little boy be like and would I like him? I spent a lot of time watching other little boys thinking about what I liked about them. Finally I realized there were a few little boys I really didn't mind. The ones, for example, who would grow up to be like my husband.

Realizing that helped me to realize how to nurture this sweet, sensitive side of a little boy. So when my little boy came along, and he was sweet and wonderful, I nurtured that. I honored his wants and needs instead of teaching him to be tough. I listened to him. I let him make choices so he would feel powerful.


One of those choices happened when he was almost two years old. While I was brushing his sister's hair one day, he told me, "I want a ponytail too." But his hair was short wisps, not long enough to put in a ponytail. So without judgment I told him, "You'll have to grow your hair long enough to put it into a ponytail." We had this exchange almost daily for about another year. Finally his hair was long enough to be put into a ponytail. And he was ecstatic!

As long as he has been able to talk he has told me that he wanted long hair. Because I want him to listen to others, I listen to him. His hair is his choice. His clothing is his choice. His appearance is his choice. And that makes him powerful.

His hair may seem superficial. Many have told me I should just cut it. But his hair is part of a greater lesson.

His hair is teaching him that he is powerful. Because of his hair, he knows he can make choices without fighting; without muscle. Being allowed to make his own choice shows him that people respect him. And not having to fight to be who he wants is teaching him to be sensitive; to care about others.

So when he says he wants to grow his hair long long long, and he wants to grow a beard down to his belt, I listen. After all it is his hair.




We'd love it if you stopped by to read submissions by the other amazing carnival bloggers

My Happy Hippie Boy -- Andie from Crayon Freckles shares why she and her husband have chosen to let their 3.5 yr old son’s hair go uncut. 

Boys Have Long Hair, Too: A Father’s View -- Alex from Glittering Muffins says it happens that not only does his son, Nico have long hair, he as the father has no problem with it either. He personally does not find that long hair emasculates a boy (or adult alike)...

Boys Have Long Hair, Too: A Maman’s View -- Valerie from Glittering Muffins son has been called a cute little girl for about a year and a half (he’s 2.5 yo). So she corrects people and tells them he’s a boy and loves his long hair (Once in a while she even throws in a “he also loves to watch Strawberry Shortcake”). 

Boys Have Long Hair, Too --The Monko from Taming the Goblin explains why she likes it when her son is mistaken for a girl and asks the question "Do mums of girls feel this guilty when their child doesn't like having their long hair brushed?"

Sampson -- Kellie from Our Mindful Life reflects on how long hair gives her son power.

Trials and Tribulations of a Boy with Tresses -- Carolyn from Mama's Little Muse talks about her experience in raising a boy with hair too beautiful to cut short. It is about how people have reacted; how she has created keepsakes featuring his hair; and also how they have arrived at a game that they play so that the hair brushing experience goes more smoothly.

His Hair, His Decision -- Lyndsay from Our Feminist {Play}School asks the question “why shouldn't a boy have long hair?”. Her 'answers' are historical, personal and family-specific.

Boys Have Long Hair, Too -- Sarah from This is Me…Sarah Mum of 3 is mum to 3 children a boy aged 10, girl aged 8 and a boy aged 5, Always loving the longer hair styles for boys her two boys have had many different hair styles over the years but always seem to resort back to the longer locks even against the negative comments they sometimes recieve.

Labels:

8 Comments:

  • At May 18, 2012 at 2:07 PM , Blogger Sarahmumof3 said...

    what a lovely view point, his hair is beautiful and he looks such a lovely happy boy :D x

     
  • At May 18, 2012 at 2:22 PM , Blogger The Monko said...

    I love that he chose to grow it himself. Thats fantastic. So funny that you and I have used the exact same words to finish our posts.

     
  • At May 18, 2012 at 3:54 PM , Blogger Kellie Barr said...

    Thanks, ladies! He usually is a happy man, and he DEFINITELY loves his hair!

     
  • At May 18, 2012 at 5:40 PM , Blogger Carolyn said...

    Hi Kellie, It is Carolyn visiting from Mama's Little Muse. What a beautiful blog post. The way you are raising your son is wonderful! I seriously still(!) can remember as a little girl always wanting to have long hair, and my mom literally dragging me to the hairdressers and getting it chopped off. I always felt completely humiliated, and yes, I think it affected my sense of power. I guess it is why I am still striving to grow my hair long! I would for sure let my son grow a pony tail too if he wanted. Great job!

     
  • At May 18, 2012 at 7:00 PM , Blogger Ms. Liz said...

    "His hair is teaching him that he is powerful."
    I love that line! It is so true. Our son is 3 years old now and he has never had a hair cut. He realizes that his hair, just like the rest of his body, is his, and he has control over who touches it and how. This blog carnival is refreshing, especially since my boy is the only long haired boy around here and I am constantly saying "HE's a BOY." :)

     
  • At May 19, 2012 at 7:55 AM , Blogger Lyndsay said...

    What a lucky little boy you have! You obviously love and nurture all aspects of his being. We need more holistic approaches to parenting in our culture, thanks for sharing your example. So heart warming to read.

    lyndsay@ourfeministplayschool.ca

     
  • At May 21, 2012 at 11:06 PM , Blogger Rebekah said...

    Lovely post! Thank you for teaching your son to be sensitive and powerful!

     
  • At May 26, 2012 at 11:43 AM , Blogger andie jaye said...

    that's the greatest quote...that he can have power without using muscles. such an important lesson to teach our boys. it resonated with me the first time i read, but this time, it jumped out at me in neon lights. i keep going back through all of our posts. Bear thinks it's cool to see other boys with long hair :) thanks so much for participating.

     

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